Things
by periwinkleisthecolorofmysoul
Summary: One-shot: Eren, this is why we can't have nice things.


It was a normal day in the the Alert-Kirschtein household's guest house, located approximately fifty meters from the main residence. The guest house had been given to the use of ones Eren Jeager and Levi by Jean after incessant begging on Eren's part, irresistible puppy eyes on Armin's part, and inescapable glares on Levi's part. The repairs on the roof had just finished, the last worker putting on the last touches before wiping his brow with a smile and a mental pat on the back. Within said house, sitting in the kitchen inexplicably located on the second floor, Eren glances at his surroundings with a sigh.

"Oh quit whining brat. Normally people would be overjoyed they didn't have to cook for themselves," Levi said, glancing disdainfully over at the slumped figure on the kitchen table.

Eren raised his head mournfully, "but you never let me make anything heichou. I feel so useless."

"Stop whining, you make too much of a mess whenever I let you in the kitchen."

"But heichou, you've only ever let me in the kitchen once," Eren complained, cowering slightly at the force of Levi's glare being shifted to him. Levi sighed before turning the stove off and bringing the food over to the table, ladling soup into two bowls.

"Only once was enough to witness the mess you're capable of making. Now shut up and eat your soup Jeager."

Eren frowned before sipping cautiously at the soup, "Hey, heichou, why do you still call me Jeager?"

Levi glanced at Eren before turning his attention back to his meal, "I suppose the same reason you still call me heichou."

"Eh? So you're also afraid of having your ass kicked?" Eren questioned innocently.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that Eren," Levi said, eye twitching in irritation. Eren smiled slightly before turning back to his food. The meal was passed in silence for a few more moments before it was broken once more.

"Hey Levi, why haven't we decorated this place yet?" Eren asked, looking at the room around him. The kitchen was furnished sparsely with the necessary cooking supplies, a simple table, and two chairs. The living room was located next to the kitchen, and contained naught but a thin rug and an old, lumpy couch. Eren frowned thoughtfully, considering the rest of the house, which he knew to be as empty as the rooms he could currently see, "Armin and Jean did give this house to us after all. We might as well furnish it."

"Eren – " Levi started before getting cut off.

"Besides, we basically just survived and ended the apocalypse. We deserve some nice things, right?"

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, wondering, not for the first time, just why he stuck with the idiot, "Eren, there are some things that don't change even after surviving the apocalypse."

"Eh?" Eren looked over at Levi, confused, "what do you mean? What does that have to do with why we can't have nice things?"

"Think about it Eren," Levi supplied, looking on with frustration as Eren's brows furrowed together in concentration.

"I don't get it Levi," Eren said after a few moments.

Levi's hands slammed down on the table, knocking his spoon onto the floor, "Ere –"

"Here Levi, let me get that for you," Eren said helpfully, reaching for the spoon on the floor that was just out of his reach and ignoring Levi's protests. With a poof of smoke and a resigned sigh from Levi, Eren's transformation into a titan was completed, his head poking neatly through a new hole in the roof while splinters of wood rained down into the kitchen. Levi groaned as he saw the support beams start to wobble before shifting out of place and beginning their descent into the house. The simple kitchen table got crushed under falling debris while the sounds of floorboards creaking from above warned that the floor would not long hold the weight of the ceiling crashing down on them. Making his way cautiously out of the precarious building, Levi looked up at Eren's apologetic face as the house crumbled to the ground around his form.

"This, Eren," Levi said, gesturing around him, "_This _is why we can't have nice things.

* * *

**An idea I had based on that one part in the anime where Eren reaches for a spoon and turns into a titan :D**

**At least, I believe it was a spoon, my memory is a bit fuzzy : /**

**Takes place in some magical world after the titan's are gone and Armin makes a living off of his brain and lives happily ever after with Jean.**

**And apparently Eren and Levi as well : /**

**Anywho. . .**

**It's a bit longer than I anticipated 'cause I wasn't sure how to start their conversation. Conversations are so irritating. Like, how does one convo?**

**(yes, that's a verb now)**

**Anywho I probably shouldn't be complaining it's too long since it's like a page : /**

**WHATEVER**

**EREN IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT**  
**THIS IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS**


End file.
